This week’s humor comes directly from my original email account. You see, after mostly ignoring that account for about a decade, I finally got it into my head to clean it up and make it useable again. That meant bulk trashing over 13,000 unread messages that had piled up over the years.
Did you know Yahoo’s UI doesn’t even show how many messages you have once you pass 999? Anyway, I couldn’t just hit delete on everything, I needed to at least scan through things to make sure I didn’t accidently delete something important from a family member or old friend. Buried at the bottom of that pile, however, was another trove of old humor lists from the days when that was a thing.
And so, originally from the (now sadly defunct) Top 5 Lists website, please enjoy this bit that’s topically appropriate in Pumpkin Spice season.
The Top 5 Signs You’re a Starbucks Addict
5. Your kids’ names: Verona, Sumatra, Breakfast Blend and lil’ Frappy.
4. Your Green Apron Gang does a drive-by on the neighborhood Tully’s.
3. Your blood type is mocha java.
2. You attempt to check yourself into the Sanka wing of the Juan Valdez House for rehab.
and Topfive.com’s Number 1 Sign You’re a Starbucks Addict…
1. You’ve collected enough of those heat-protector cardboard sleeves to make your own Space Shuttle.
Also, those heat-protector cardboard sleeves are called “zarfs.” Yes, really. Look it up if you don’t believe me.