14. Invisibath — The power to disappear at the first sound of bath water
13. ViseHump — The leg hump grip of steel
12. AquaField — Immunity to bucket of cold water when copulating in driveway
11. Skeetvision — The ability to shoot laser beams from your eyes to blast that damn Frisbee out of the sky
10. SuperBladder, loaded with Toxi-Urine — One lift of the leg and this town is mine!
9. SquirrelFreeze
8. AnalTelepathy/ButtSniffery — Two powers which when combined allow one to smell another dog’s butt without actually having to get up and move around
7. John-O-Matic — Turns any toilet bowl into a punch bowl by sheer force of will
6. ChuckSpeed — Ability to catch that friggin’ Wagon Train
5. AntiPsych-Out — Immunity to all that “fake throw” nonsense
4. VacuCalm — Utter self control whenever the vacuum cleaner is turned on
3. GucciTract — An invincible digestive system that sustains itself entirely on designer shoes
2. King Fido’s Touch — Everything you touch turns into crap
and the Top Super Power Most Coveted by Dogs…
1. DoberMorph — Ability to change into a Doberman anytime someone rolls up a newspaper
List originally published by Top5List.com on January 26, 1999