It’s the last weekend of the year, and of the decade. For those of us still heading to work next week, the offices will probably be mostly empty for the first couple days of the week. Which makes it a perfect time for this list. (Note: Management is not responsible for anyone dumb enough to actually take this advice.)
The Top 13 Reasons to Go to Work Naked
13. Your boss is always yelling, “I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!”
12. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
11. Inventive way to finally meet that hottie in Human Resources.
10. I’d love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants.”
9. Stops those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.
8. You want to see if it’s like the dream.
7. So that, with a little help from Muzak, you can add “Exotic Dancer” to your exaggerated resume.
6. Splattering grease from deep fryer is really hard to get out of your uniform.
5. People stop stealing your pens after they’ve seen where you keep them.
4. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work stoned.
3. Because setting the nation’s monetary policy and keeping Andrea Mitchell satisfied requires a delicate balance.
2. Keeps that snooty Ruth Bader-Ginsberg on her toes.
And the Number One Reason to Go to Work Naked…
- Because the President insists when Hillary’s out of town.
Originally published December 9th, 1999 by the Top 5 List.