Retro Review – Star Trek: The Motion Picture

Where do we go for evening viewing after finishing all three seasons of Star Trek The Original Series with the Terror Team? On to the movies, of course. Now for the sake of reasonable bedtimes we’re actually watching the first six movies on Friday nights while simultaneously starting Star Trek: The Next Generation on Wednesday nights, but hey, Next Gen was already on the air before Star Trek V showed up in theaters, so it’s not like that crossover didn’t happen in reality anyway. Obviously, then, we started by boring the kids nearly to death with Star Trek: The Motion Picture (ST:TMP).

Again, a couple of details up front: for the movies, we’re watching the version from the Star Trek: Stardate Collection, because that’s what I bought a couple of years ago. According to Wikipedia, this makes this the original theatrical cut, rather than the Director’s Cut which added a few additional scenes while also trimming down a few of the really long shots. It’s also a standard definition release, which, really doesn’t matter on our little TV. Maybe I’ll upgrade to a Blu-Ray collection when we have a TV where that definition will matter.

Anyway, on to the movie, which I hadn’t seen in at least two decades, and recall being bored of when I did watch it. Actually, what I mostly recall from this movie is having the read-along book and record, and finding that twelve-minute condensed version far more interesting than the nearly two-and-a-half hour actual movie.

Here’s the thing: with the benefit of hindsight, I think I get what they were trying to go for with ST:TMP. Star Trek had been off the air for over a decade, but had gained a cult following in syndication. Star Wars had proven that sci-fi movies could be profitable again. Into that, ST:TMP got a relatively huge budget, and the chance to tell a huge story.

The movie opens strongly enough. We see three Klingon Warbirds approaching a massive, unidentified target in Klingon space. The UNIDENT proceeds to destroy all three Klingon vessels, though not before the last one sends a message which gets picked up by a Federation listening post hanging out near Klingon space. Oh, the long shots of the Klingon Warbirds could probably be shortened a bit, but it’s reasonably intense, and also serves as our introduction to the new and improved Klingons that we’ll recognize for the rest of the franchise.

Somewhat imminent, slow-moving peril then provides a somewhat plausible excuse for getting (most) of the band back together again. As the Enterprise is somehow the only Starfleet vessel near enough to Earth to intercept the threat. All save Spock, whom we’ve seen briefly on Vulcan going through a ceremony to purge himself of all human emotion once and for all. Then it’s back to Earth as Admiral Kirk goes to inspect the refitted Enterprise and inform her newly promoted captain (Commander Decker) that he’s been temporarily demoted to First Officer for the duration of the next mission.

Which brings us to the most infamously long sequence in the movie, the introduction of the “new” Enterprise NCC-1701. To my mind, at least, this is the most excusable of the bunch though. It’s a huge, extensive love-letter to the long-suffering Star Trek fans of the time.

https://youtu.be/Xox2IVxvIJw

Also, we have to talk about these absolutely horrible uniforms. Gone are the cheery colors of the ’60s TV show, replaced with all these drab grays, whites, and browns. Thank goodness this look only lasted for one movie. While there are a few semi-homogenous uniform looks in some of the later shows (looking at you, Star Trek: Enterprise), none of them have been this ugly in the way that only late ’70s clothing manages to be.

After more drawn-out sequences, and a transporter malfunction which conveniently removes the new Vulcan science officer from the land of the living, the movie finally gets under way. Right into some sort of wormhole shot in a way that makes it look like a bad acid trip, but which gives Commander Decker a chance to demonstrate his competency.

On it goes. On, and on, and on. The central theme of searching for a Creator is certainly a universal question, even if the movie’s answer is unequivocally humanist. It’s just that the movie is so darn long. Somehow this thing is more than twenty minutes longer than any other Star Trek movie.

From a fan perspective, ST:TMP has to be watched at least once, simply to appreciate both what came before, and what comes after. There’s some great production trivia in the Wikipedia article. It’s a love letter to fans in a way that few movies following a TV series can be (Serenity being a notable exception to this rule). Later Star Trek films are mostly superior in editing, plot, and costume design, but ST:TMP is where it all started.

Where do we go for evening viewing after finishing all three seasons of Star Trek The Original Series with the Terror Team? On to the movies, of course. Now for the sake of reasonable bedtimes we’re actually watching the first six movies on Friday nights while simultaneously starting Star Trek: The Next Generation on Wednesday nights, but hey, Next Gen was already on the air before Star Trek V showed up in theaters, so it’s not like that crossover didn’t happen in reality anyway. Obviously, then, we started by boring the kids nearly to death with Star Trek: The Motion Picture (ST:TMP).

Again, a couple of details up front: for the movies, we’re watching the version from the Star Trek: Stardate Collection, because that’s what I bought a couple of years ago. According to Wikipedia, this makes this the original theatrical cut, rather than the Director’s Cut which added a few additional scenes while also trimming down a few of the really long shots. It’s also a standard definition release, which, really doesn’t matter on our little TV. Maybe I’ll upgrade to a Blu-Ray collection when we have a TV where that definition will matter.