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Let the Girls Play

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toddler playing soccer

I usually like Adam Piggott’s blog. He writes a lot of good stuff over there, reading about his faith transformation of the last few years has been inspiring, and his books are well worth reading. But boy did he ever miss the mark in a recent post entitled “Fathers, keep your Daughters Away from Sport.” As a dad to two daughters and three sons, all of whom have played recreational sports to some degree or another, I think he’s completely wrong about girls playing sports in our modern era, as well as being provably wrong on women’s sports in the past. 

First, I’d like to address the idea that little girls playing co-ed sports with little boys somehow causes them to be less feminine, or whatever the logic was. In short, tell me you’ve never watched a kindergarten level T-ball or soccer team game, without telling me you’ve never watched one of those games. 

Here’s what you can expect at any given T-ball game: at least two kids on each team will be more interested in what’s in the dirt or grass in front of them in the field than what’s going on in the game. Another child will be picking his nose. Someone’s child will get a hit and not know which base to run to. Every hit will result in four kids chasing after the ball, regardless of what position they’re supposed to be playing. In short, a typical T-ball game bears as much resemblance to a major league baseball game as a chihuahua does to a wolf. Sports at this age isn’t about turning kids into future competition athletes, it’s about teaching teamwork, sportsmanship, hand-eye coordination, and (hopefully) to not pee your pants in the 3rd inning. 

Second, let me argue that there’s a vast difference between recreational sports and the kind of top-tier competition that Adam is arguing against when he talks about issues with physical development and injury. Which are also present for male athletes. The physical demands on a body when competing at elite levels are why the average NFL career spans three years, and why more and more high-school boys are having to under go Tommy John surgery when they blow out their arms in the quest to sling 100mph fastballs and maybe catch the eye of an MLB scout. 

Recreational sport is about a love of movement, a love of the game, and a healthy way to move your body. Maybe Adam is planning to raise his family on a homestead where all the kids will get a couple hours of physical labor in each day, but for many kids, sports becomes the best outlet to encourage an hour or two of movement three or four times a week. 

Third, there’s his idea that female participation in sports is some modern contrivance. The Greek women who ran in the Heraean Games might take issue with that, as would Homer, who mentions women playing light sports in The Odyssey. Victorian-era sports for women were more focused around physical fitness than competition, but woe betide the Victorian woman who didn’t know her way around a croquet game

I am in agreement with Adam that past a certain age (probably about 8 or 9), it’s not beneficial for girls to be playing co-ed sports. It’s a fascinating contrast watching my daughter’s flag football team play and practice in comparison to my son’s team. The girl teams tend to have lots of cheers and chants, supportive yelling, and generally less aggression than the boys. The boys team, meanwhile, plays flag football like it’s half tackle (and I suspect half of the boys would be on a tackle team if their parents would let them), displays the typical light trash-talk of 12- and 13-year-old boys, and generally play with a lot more aggression. 

In short, let your girls play sports. Let your boys play sports. Let your daughters shoot hoops with your sons, throw footballs with their cousins, and race each other barefoot in the backyard on a summer evening. Let them find joy in movement, in seeing themselves improve at a physical skill, and in the thrill of competition. Let your kids be kids. They’ll grow up too fast and be serious before you’re ready anyway.