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Coronavirus Prep – Canned Toilet Paper?

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In these trying times, when people are clearing shelves of everything from bottled water to toilet paper like COVID-19 is actually some horrific strain of explosive diarrhea, one hero has the answer. Can it! Cue the Real Men of Genius music:

Bud Light Presents: Real Men of Genius
(Real men of Genius)
Today we salute you, Mr. Ultra Prepared Toilet Paper Canner Guy
(Mr. Ultra Prepared Toilet Paper Canner Guy!)
While others are content to let their supply of toilet paper rot inside a plastic bag, you know that the real solution is in the kitchen.
(Can it for the can!)
Sure, you may only be able to stuff half a roll into each jar, but those rolls will be as fresh as the day they were made.
(Like a mountain stream!)
All it takes is a pressure vessel, a couple dozen mason jars, and two packs of Charmin, and you’re set for whatever disaster comes next.
(Oh so soft!)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Canning Dude. ‘Cause when everyone else is looking for big leaves, your rear will be cleaner than a hospital floor.
(Mr Ultra Prepared Toilet Paper Canner Guy!)